Category: bad ideas

make this happen

Dear Blog:   Kindly do me a few favors and make the following list of stuff go away:   1 – This “very personal” purchase suggestion by some California cemetery site somehow stumbled upon: A stunning bouquet featuring lavender roses and a green orchid placed inside the casket is a tender and very personal tribute. • The radiant arrangement includes one… Read more →

hey, kids

Blog, I cannot wait to hang with the neighbor kids for our weekly fun time.  We, you know, read the funnies n stuff.  Really, super fun stuff like that. Logan, it’s your turn to read.  Share the pictures with the group.   Read more →

looking down the barrel

The Cracker Barrel, that is.  And you won’t like what I found, Blog.  Turns out, those nasty bitches have us over a barrel. For starters, there’s this animal abuse.  Sarah McLachlan-style, full-on sadness.  Those cracka’s are shipping animals to these United States from China for a “better life” – in plastic bags, heaped atop one another, squeezed into buckets. So you say,… Read more →

the load

Dear Person in Front of Me with a Cadillac Pick-up Truck, Blog and I have gathered a heavy load of pretentious from our hometown streets.  It’s way too heavy for our monster truck and, well, we noticed you have an adequate capacity for the stuff, so please help us keep our streets clean.  If you can.  Something tells me you can. Read more →

having fund

Blog, I’m starting up a Go Fund Me page.  Need $393.75. There was a time, Blog, when if you asked someone to go fund you that person might suggest that you Go Fund Yourself.  Thankfully, those days are gone. So anyways $400 even would be fine. Read more →

$393.75

Blog, when I land that great job and make my next $394.75, the first dollar will go into a thrift store frame.  With a little help from the next $393.75, I’ll be doing this on my new Slacker Sack Bean Bag Lounger from Wal-Mart: When I tell Husband I bought it, I’ll feather his hair, fetch his argyle socks, throw… Read more →

lowering the bar

The bar for my acting appropriately has lowered, Blog.  I asked an adorable, fit, kind friend if she is pregnant.  She isn’t.  It was a big sweatshirt situation. I’m a fat girl who grew up with some people who knew stuff.  Like how not to make asses of themselves.  What happened? If you need me, I’ll be on the floor.… Read more →

TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW

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